A Beer for Brian

IF YOU’D SEEN ME LAST NIGHT paying tribute to my cousin Brian, and avoided being struck blind, you’d have had good cause to doubt my sanity. But I was fulfilling an obligation and following some very sage advice.

Fortunately, there are no photos. But you’re welcome to use your imagination.

Brian-croppedBrian was a sweet, good-natured guy with a broad and deep sense of humor. He was fun to be around. He enjoyed life, and at 51 was far too young to leave it. But his cancer was aggressive and incurable, and he passed away two weeks ago.

His memorial service was held yesterday in Wisconsin. My wife went but my biggest race of the year was this weekend – the 100K at Run Woodstock, which would start Friday afternoon and spill over into Saturday morning. So I offered to run my race in Brian’s honor, which the family thought was a fine idea.

Run Woodstock - ready to go

Ready to rock ‘n roll! Brian’s photo is pinned to my shorts.

Except that the 100K didn’t go according to plan. I overheated and dropped out at the 56K mark for my first-ever DNF. (More on that event, and what I learned, in an upcoming post.) I called my wife to let her know, and that I felt bad about it. By not finishing, I felt like I hadn’t really honored Brian properly. She set me straight.

“Brian wouldn’t have wanted you to kill yourself over this,” she told me. “You know what he would have said? Fuck it, and go get a beer.”

The moment I heard that, I knew it was exactly what he would have said. So my revised mission was to follow that advice. And I knew just how to do it.

In addition to the races, Run Woodstock offers fun, untimed trail runs of 5K or 10K on Friday and Saturday nights. There are two options available. The first is to follow the standard course on the trails. The second takes you to a secluded part of the woods where you can run a mile loop “the natural way”. You’re allowed shoes and a headlamp, and the rest is placed on a tarp at the starting point.

Or perhaps more appropriately, a "what the Hell" activity.

Or perhaps more appropriately, a “what the Hell” activity.

So which option did I choose for Saturday night’s run? Only the Natural option offers beer. Plus it fit well with the first part of the advice.

So I followed the flags to the tarp and made the necessary wardrobe adjustments. There was a group all ready to go for their mile, so I joined them. It was a perfect evening, dry and cool, and the loop flew by quickly and easily. After the sweltering heat followed by rain Friday night, this was pure bliss.

And unlike the first time I ran the natural mile, I felt completely at ease, even when we gave two fully clothed hikers a surprise. Everyone else seemed comfortable, too. “Liberating!” I actually heard someone say. Part of this, I think, is that runners tend to be easygoing and accepting. Awkward situations are nothing new to them and they pretty much take things as they come. It’s either part of what makes them runners, or what running does to them.

I finished the loop and picked up a cup of beer. As I was getting ready to salute Brian’s memory, I overheard a nearby group of women. They were doing the Natural for the first time and were a bit uncertain about where to go on the trail. Being the compassionate and chivalrous man that I am, I offered to go with them. “Oh, yes!” they said, so I put the cup down and off we went, two guys to about six or seven women. The evening just kept getting better!

That is, until we passed a woman walking along the trail holding a baby, nursing it while she walked. All the women stopped to ooh and aah over the baby and the other guy was telling the mom how great she was for doing this. So I was now by myself.

What to do – wait, or run? My body said run, and amazingly my brain agreed, so I went with that. Turned out to be a good plan. When I returned to the starting area, there was one cup of beer – the last one – on the table. In previous years, they’d set up a bar shack with more beer, wine and other drinks, but this year they’d kept that all in the main campground. So I’d arrived just in time.

I picked up the last cup, explaining that it was needed to fulfill a sacred duty. Naked in front of God and the other naked people, I raised the cup toward the heavens. “Brian,” I said, “this one’s for you.”

If he was watching, I hope he had a good laugh.

A SFW version of my toast. RIP, dude.

A SFW version of my toast. (The button is from last night.) RIP, dude.

Woodstock Warmup!

FRIDAY’S FORECAST FOR HELL: HOT, with rain showers likely, then cooling off on Saturday. Trail conditions: 200 yards of campground road followed by 61.9 miles of slippery, shoe-eating mud.

Just hours now to Run Woodstock and my first-ever 100K trail race, starting at 4:00 Friday afternoon, and crossing the finish line somewhere between 4:00-6:00 a.m. Saturday. The rain is also supposed to start around 4:00 Friday afternoon, and end somewhere around 6:00 a.m. Saturday. Rain, dude, we’re good buddies and all, but why couldn’t you have signed up for a different event? Not that a little rain bothers me, of course. Not at all. Won’t even notice. Yeah.

Woodstock - Making Sandwiches

Three hours making sandwiches! It’s comforting to know I have skills like this to fall back on if I ever lose my job.

At least the weather forecast made my preparation simple. Pack everything! That done, I went over to Hell Creek Ranch to help set up, making PB&J sandwiches and unpacking medals for the 1,600 people running this weekend. Mother Nature was there too, dumping about fifteen minutes of light rain on us. Just warming up for the races, you know.

I saw Randy, the race organizer there, and asked him about the quality of the trails. “Oh, they’re fine from the campground to the woods,” he said. Oh well, at least only the “hundies” (100K and 100-mile runners) will be out there Friday night. I can only imagine what the trails will be like Saturday morning when the other races start. Might need to call in the kayakers from the summer triathlons.

Super cool, right? Isn't it worth an all-night run on muddy trails in the rain to  get one of these? Sure, I'll wait while you think about it.

Super cool, right? Isn’t it worth an all-night mud run in the rain to get one of these? Sure, I’ll wait while you think about it.

Full weekend report to follow. For now, gotta finish my pre-race training regimen: carbo-loading and rest. Let me tell you, sitting around watching TV and eating pie isn’t easy. Seriously. I am not used to this. But I’m doing my best.

Hunting the Snarky

Runners in particular are fond of snarky slogans, and I enjoy collecting them. So I’m interrupting my regular program of highly informative, thought-providing, and possibly world-changing posts to show you all some entertaining T-shirts and signs from my recent races and training runs. After all, it’s hard to come up with highly informative, thought-providing, and possibly world-changing posts all the time. And maybe one day I’ll actually write one.

Until then, here you go. Enjoy!

RBTW - If Found Please Drag

RBTW - Run Now Wine Later

RBTW - Beware of Fast Women

For this one, see the sign near the lower right corner. (Click on the photo to get a larger image if needed.)
Sign - Free Idiot Test

Shirt - In Case of Zombies

Shirt - Trample the Weak

Yeah, don’t we all?
Napkin - I Want It All

Up next: Adventures in night running.

Rabbit in the Vineyard

I CHARGED DOWN THE FINAL STRAIGHTAWAY toward the “Mile 3″ sign, hearing nothing but my own heavy breathing. Behind me, somewhere, were close to 800 other runners. Ahead was one lone runner – and the pace bike. My mind was flashing between two thoughts: Keep going – just hold it together a little longer – and, What the *&%! am I doing in second place???

The answer, near as I can tell, is either that wine drinkers don’t run particularly fast, or that the fast ones didn’t get up early enough to run a morning race.

Last Saturday’s Running Between the Vines race was the second in the Running Fit “Thirsty 3″ series. The first, the Hightail to Ale in May, brought nearly 4,000 runners to Detroit’s Atwater Brewery to run a 5K along the Riverwalk (and a line at least that long to get a post-race beer). Saturday’s race at the Sandhill Crane Vineyards just outside Jackson split 1,400 runners between a 5K and a half marathon, with wine and food tasting afterward – an event aimed at a more refined and sedate type of runner.

Okay, never mind.

Okay, never mind what I just said.

A long wait for parking was the only glitch in an otherwise perfect day and well-run event. The half marathon started on time at 7:30 a.m., despite many runners still parking or standing in the porta-john lines. No harm done, as it was chip timed, but I was grateful I’d chosen the 8:00 5K and had a half hour to get loose.

God + wine: a classic pairing.

God + wine: a classic pairing.

Having completed a triathlon just three days before, I left my “hard run” vs. “fun run” decision to the last minute. Then I thought what the hell and worked my way to the front of the line. “Go, rabbits,” someone said laconically as the horn sounded and we sprinted into the first turn. Wine drinker, obviously.

RBTW - Run Now Wine LaterOur route went through a restricted neighborhood which opened its gates for us. Tall and solid gates, not some half-assed toll booth lever. Wine drinkers are apparently perceived as upright and trustworthy, although judging from the paucity of spectators, not worthy of much attention.

I was in the lead group, but I fully expected people – lots of them – to overtake me. Instead, incredibly, I was overtaking others. Before long I was in fourth place. Then third. At the one-mile mark I passed the next guy. I was in second place, and the pace bike and front runner were clearly visible ahead. I’ve had top 10 finishes in trail races, but never in a road race. This was something entirely new – and unbelievable.

As I ran through the water station at the halfway mark I heard voices and footsteps behind me, but taking a page from Satchel, I didn’t look back. The Mile 2 marker came and went. I was holding second but not gaining on the leader, who remained about 20 seconds ahead.

I had a decision to make. Should I go balls out and try to catch him? Would I ever have a better chance to win a race? But if I did, I might crash and burn, spoiling what promised to be my best-ever finishing position.

Coincidentally, I later came across this New Yorker article about Alberto Salazar, a world-class runner in the 1980s, and his ability to push through pain and exhaustion to win races. The author (Malcolm Gladwell – yes, him) recounts his own “balls out” moment as a runner, and concludes he is not like Alberto Salazar – it was not worth it to him. Unknowingly, I’d reached the same conclusion. Second place would be good enough.

Down the final stretch and back into the vineyard. The finish line appeared, and I surged through it. Second overall! The third place finisher was only six seconds behind. I wonder what his thoughts had been regarding me?

Vines Finish - 0007

And the crowd goes wild! Er…the one guy watching tips his glass at me.

In the spirit of full disclosure, my time of 20:38 would have been buried way down the list at the Hightail to Ale 5K, where the top 5 finish times were under 18 minutes. But that’s what races are like. It isn’t the fastest runner who wins, it’s the fastest runner who shows up that day.

The post-race wine and food tasting was surprisingly good. Even though I don’t drink much wine, I liked their Pinot Grigio so much I bought a bottle. I’d won a nice wine bottle carrier and needed something to fill it, didn’t I?

Here's what the people really came for.

Here’s what the people really came for.

The final in the “Thirsty 3″ series, the Scrumpy Skedaddle, is Oct. 5. I wonder how cider drinkers compare to beer and wine drinkers in a 5K. I’ll be sure to let you know.

And let's not forget Run Woodstock - less than 3 weeks away!

And let’s not forget Run Woodstock – less than 3 weeks away!

Super-worthy Causes, and Super Offers For My Readers

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME – I’M FEELING GENEROUS!

One of the great things about running is its power to bring lots of people together for a good cause. Running events routinely donate at least part of their proceeds to one or more charities. Not only is money raised for people in need, the participants engage in a fun and healthy activity instead of sitting in some stuffy ballroom eating rubber chicken, or on their couches eating – well, I don’t even wanna go there.

One great cause from 2013 - the Boston Unity Run in Brighton.

One great cause from 2013 – the Boston Unity Run in Brighton. Huge turnout, lots of money raised, and tons of positive vibes.

One such event I will be part of next week is the Crim Festival of Races, where the city of Flint surrenders its downtown to thousands of runners for a day. Proceeds support the Crim Fitness Foundation, which offers programs on fitness and nutrition for kids and adults. Some of the best runners in the world come to the Crim, and the PR Fitness club fills up an entire bus and more each year.

Last year's PR Fitness team photo at the Crim.

PR Fitness at last year’s Crim.

But right now I want to do more than just tell you stuff – let’s act! I have special offers for my readers that I hope some of you will take advantage of. Without further ado, here they are.

Update: Running for Water – Rick Matz and Team World Vision

Team World Vision - 2In this guest post by fellow blogger Rick Matz, he told us of his plan to support Team World Vision by running a half marathon this fall, even though he isn’t a runner. According to the World Health Organization, over 3 million people die each year from diseases related to poor sanitation. Saving lives by providing access to clean water is what Team World Vision is all about.

Rick is trying to raise a total of $1,310 (get it?) and, frankly, he could use a boost to help him along. So here’s my offer. If any of my readers feels inspired to toss a few bucks his way, please email me after you donate (jeff@runbikethrow.net) and I will match it. Double the power! Click here for the direct link to his page.

And speaking of power…

Get Your Super On

Dress up as your favorite superhero and run!

The Super RunThe Super Run has races all over the country, and it’s coming to Ann Arbor on September 6. It’s a very reasonably priced 1K or 5K, fun for all ages. You also get a superhero cape, “I’m Super” temporary tattoo, and awareness bracelet with registration!

The Super Run supports charities like adoption and foster care, World Animal Awareness Society, and the Children’s Hospitals National Foundation. See their web page for more details.

If you’d like to be a part of this race, you can get a 2-for-1 deal! Sign up for an adult registration and email me the confirmation code, and I will send you a code for a free second registration! Supply is limited for this one, so it’s first come, first served until they’re gone.

And here is a coupon code for 20% off at www.superflykids.com where you or your kids can make your own custom superhero gear. It’s SUPERRUNFAN.

So there you go, and I hope some of you will feel inspired to support one or both of these very worthy causes. But if not, I hope you’ll keep in mind how fortunate the great majority of us in this country are, and consider supporting those who could use some help. And why not do something for yourself while you’re at it? Sign up for an event near you!  If you’re not a runner, most races offer a walking option. You’ll be amazed at how good you’ll feel.

Next up: a recap of my three-triathlon experience this summer, and a 5K romp in a vineyard. No, not a beer mile. But we’ll see what wild and crazy stuff might happen.

Dressed for Success: Red Carpet Run Recap

LADIES, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY you spend so much time and money shopping for clothes and making yourselves up. I can put together an outfit in just a few minutes, with clothes I already own, then run a 5K in them – and win a Best Dressed award!

What’s my secret? Let me set the scene here…

Red Carpet Run - Lining up 2

“GO! GO!” Randy called. I looked myself over one last time. Tuxedo jacket in place. Bow tie straight. Carnation presented just so. Perrier water bottle strapped to my belt. Good to go! And I and three hundred of the best-dressed runners you’ll ever see jogged elegantly down the red carpet, over the starting line, and into West Bloomfield for an eye-popping 5K.

Red Carpet Run outfits - 6

Lots more where this came from! See below, if you dare.

I’ve run a lot of races this year. Some, like the Super 5K, were about pure speed. Some, like the Dances with Dirt ultramarathons, are about endurance. Wednesday’s Red Carpet Run was all about the look.

Now you might think creating the perfect look for this premier event would take weeks of perusing the pages of GQ, a visit to a world-class hair stylist, manicure, and the services of the finest tailors in the area. Not so much. I got home last Tuesday from our annual vacation up north, opened my closet door, and said to myself, “What am I going to wear tomorrow night?”

Poking around in the dark neglected corner where my suits are, I came across my old tuxedo – from high school no less – but in good condition and reasonably dust-free. And the jacket still fit (more or less)! A white button-down collar shirt and black bow tie took care of above the waist. Below I wore shorts and my newest running shoes, although I bowed to fashion and put on over-the-calf dress socks.

Then just a couple of accoutrements to pull the look together. I bought a bouquet and took a carnation from it for a boutonnière. (The rest went to my lovely wife, naturally.) I steamed the label off a bottle of Perrier and put it on a smaller green plastic bottle, then attached it to my SpiBelt with electrical tape. Put on the shades and my Garmin, and the outfit was complete!

Stylin it at the Red Carpet Run

So did everyone have to go to the lengths I did? Well, no. Actually, the RCR dress code, if you can call it that, is very fast and loose. Just about anything goes – and just about anything went. I will let some photos here tell the tale.

Very nice, very nice...

Very nice, very nice…

I hope that's not the next Paris Hilton in the jogger.

I hope that’s not the next Paris Hilton in the jogger.

Then there's, as my daughter puts it - "Cannot. Unsee."

If this one unsettles you, perhaps you should move on right now to the next blog on your list.

I warned you! Actually, I told him he was either a very brave man, or in need of some serious augmentation.

I warned you! Actually, I told him he was either a very brave man, or someone in need of some additional surgery.

The run itself (yes, I really did run a 5K in a tux) was mainly through a residential neighborhood. We got some spectators in lawn chairs cheering us on, and I’m sure we got quite a few stares from the rush hour traffic on Maple Road. Would have been fun to have some paparazzi around, though. And as for my time? Do you recall me saying it was all about the look?

GS - Red Carpet Run - Finish Line

I’d like to see George Clooney look this good after a 5K.

Even the post-race spread was stylish. Fresh grapes and berries, fancy crackers and cheese (including Brie, bien sûr), and even flutes of champagne.

No bagels or bananas to be found!

Not a bagel or banana to be found!

And then came the award presentations. In addition to recognizing the top finishers, there were awards for the best dressed man and woman. The judge was Doug Kurtis, winner of many marathons and the world record holder for most marathons under 2:20. He approached me as I was walking around after the race. “Stick around,” he said. “I think you’re going to win.” And I did!

Me with the Best Dressed woman. Black was definitely the name of the game tonight!

Me with the Best Dressed woman. Black was definitely the name of the game tonight!

So an outfit I put together in 15 minutes with a couple of cheap gags won me some nice extra swag, and even an interview from Michigan Runner. See, that’s all it takes!

I have to go now. My wife is throwing things at me. I had no idea she was so envious of my fashion sense.

Next up: my final triathlon next Wednesday. Back to focusing on performance – no style points there.

Signs of the Apocalypse

I’M GIVING YOU FAIR WARNING.

During my wonderful vacation up north last week, I took some photos that suggest something “revelationary” is brewing in the Sleeping Bear Dunes. No fire and brimstone or geese flying backwards, just a collection of little signs that cumulatively suggest – dare I say it – an omen. I haven’t been this worried about my spiritual health since the Harmonic Convergence, whenever that was.

This whole thing has me so shook up I took today off from training. (Okay, Saturday’s half marathon followed by a ten-mile recovery run yesterday also contributed.) While none of what you’re about to see is directly related to my training, I saw them all while running or cycling, so that’s good enough for me.

Here is the evidence. Decide for yourself.

Sign - Church of Christ - Beulah

This is in the lovely town of Beulah (otherwise known for The Cherry Hut) following a round-trip bike ride to Frankfort. Okay, a cute motto but otherwise unremarkable, right? But then I came across this while running the Sleeping Bear Heritage Trail into Glen Arbor:

The small sign reads, "Sorry - No Room at the Inn".

The small sign reads, “Sorry – No Room at the Inn”.

I checked, but there have been no reports of a bright star overhead or three rich guys on camels. Yet.

Still skeptical? On the other side of Glen Arbor is this:

Sign - Wine at Gas Pump - Glen Arbor

Was there just an overabundant grape harvest? Or did Jesus just pass through?

Bemused, bothered, and bewildered, I stumbled into the Blue Caribou Cafe in Beulah after Sunday’s recovery run. After yet another ownership change, they finally saw the light and installed an espresso machine. And here was one more sign:

The sign reads, "Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll have another coffee."

The sign reads, “Everyone should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another cup.” Sorry for the image quality. I believe I must have had too many.

So there you have it. Coincidence? The paranoid fantasy of this ultrarunner’s overheated brain? Or is someone out there trying to tell me something? Say, for instance, about my upcoming weekend at Run Woodstock?

Holding the Banner

Thus saith the Lord: TIE DYE IS AN ABOMINATION! And don’t even get Me started on those “Natural Runs”!!!

I’ll do my best to keep you all posted. And if New Jerusalem does descend and land upon me, I just hope they have a good running trail.