Well, folks, here is the post I was hoping never to write.

My wife Joyce’s seven-year battle with cancer is nearing its end. And unfortunately it is not the outcome we hoped for.

After her surgery for colon cancer in 2017, we all hoped she was cured. But in 2021 it returned, having metastasized to her liver. Chemotherapy worked for a while, but eventually her cancer developed resistance, and we looked for new therapies. But it did not respond to a promising clinical trial, and after Keytruda also failed to control the disease, her oncology team reluctantly concluded they had no further treatment options. So a couple of weeks ago she began palliative treatment, which means basically keeping her comfortable until the end.

Joyce fought this disease with everything she had, enduring more chemo than most people can tolerate, and continuing to live her life as fully as possible. But she accepted the outcome with grace, and without regrets. And we have not drawn the shades and moped about fate. Instead, we have been welcoming family and friends, and expressing our gratitude for each other and for knowing this wonderful woman. We have shared food, stories, hugs, and plenty of laughter.

Our two daughters came from Richmond and Denver to stay with us and help take care of her, and I have lost count of the number of people who have said, “if there’s anything we can do” and meant it. For all of you we are so grateful.

And that leads to something I told her on the way home after that meeting with the oncology team, and making the decision for her to enter hospice care.

Back in 2018, I ran the Veterans Memorial 150 across the state of Michigan, from Ludington on Lake Michigan to Bay City on Lake Huron. I wrote a multi-post account of that race you can look up on this blog, but to summarize, after two days of 95-degree heat I not only finished that race, I won it. I wear the belt buckle to this day. Joyce was part of my crew for that race, along with two of our close friends and a gym buddy who paced me the remaining 31 miles. None of them had ever crewed before. Didn’t matter. They were the Best Crew Ever and that is what I will always call them.

“You crewed me,” I told Joyce. “Now it’s my turn, and I want to be your Best Crew Ever.” And so did our friends, and our gym buddy. And so many others. We all consider ourselves part of Team Joyce. Neither of us wanted it to end this way, of course, but we’re at peace with it. And it’s my honor to be heading the crew helping her to the finish line.

Joyce (second from left) was also many times on my “crew” working Zero Waste at races. A true first mate in so many ways!