RUN WOODSTOCK OFFERS A “NATURAL” OPTION for its Friday and Saturday night runs that, as far as I know, is unique to running events open to the general public. And the term “natural miles” means exactly what it implies. You are allowed a headlamp, socks, and running shoes; everything else is free and open to the evening breezes.

So, did I, Mr. Straightlaced Uptight White Collar Guy, take advantage of it?

********** NOTE: If either of my daughters is reading this, stop here and go read your Bible like you were brought up to do. **********

So, did I, Mr. Straightlaced Uptight White Collar Guy, take advantage of it?

In a word . . . Yes, I did.

Now there was nothing in particular that titillated me (*) about nude trail running, but it was required to complete the Weekend Challenge. And besides, how many chances do you get to try it without getting arrested? I decided if I felt good enough after the 50K, it would be my “what the hell” event – and I’d be too sore to be self-conscious. “It’s awkward for about 30 seconds,” someone told me, “and then it’s no big deal.”

The 50K went really well, so Saturday night around 7:30, after collecting my costume award, off I went into the woods with the evening fun run crowd. For about one mile we all ran together, and then the trail forked at this sign:

To the left I went, grateful that I was far from alone. I’d heard the group on Friday was fairly small (in number), although there’d been some excitement when several people lost their way and wound up on the same trail as the clothed runners.

A half mile deeper into the woods the trail opened into a clearing, where a small bar had been set up, with race organizers serving beer and wine.  Were they “natural” too? Naturally! After laying my clothes on a nearby tarp, I joined the group – and then stood around waiting for people to run with. Most of them were more interested in drinking and talking, but having gotten lost 300 yards from the starting gate that morning, no way was I going out solo at night in the buff. Finally, a group of about five or six people headed down the trail, and I joined them for a loop of about one mile. With one difference (see “what I learned” below) it felt much like any other trail run – even better, as the evening was warm and there weren’t any clothes to get all sweaty.

Back at the bar, I had half a beer and hung out  made small talk  chit-chatted a while, but soon called it quits, got back into my tie-dye, and headed back to camp. Along the way I passed three women who recognized my outfit. “Did you run naked?” they asked me.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I told them. But I showed them the button I’d earned. There was much giggling, and one of them described her husband and asked if I’d seen him there (I had). She said he had a cute butt. I took her word for it.

So what did I learn? One, that not only women have issues with bouncing. (That bit in the Bible about “gird up thy loins before battle” is actually very practical advice.) And you really want to stay on the path when running through thistles.

“Did it feel liberating?” someone asked me later, obviously expecting an affirmative response. No. It felt really awkward, and for a lot more than 30 seconds. I’m not the most outgoing person even in normal situations.

Would I do it again? Sure. The run itself was actually kind of fun. But I’m not counting the days or anything.

I heard the next morning that the bar had stayed open fairly late, and that a group of inebriated nudists had staggered out of the woods and gathered around the campfire by the pavilion for awhile. Sigh…I miss all the excitement.

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(*) I just had to get the word “titillated” in there somehow.