I had an epiphany yesterday buying burritos.
Monday was a day I had looked forward to the entire previous week. Why? Because I had Zero Waste events to work on both Saturday and Sunday, and Monday being the day after, I could rest and relax. Yes, there was cleanup to do and two sustainability reports to write, but nothing had to be done on Monday, especially because I did some of the work – data compiling, generating stats, etc. – Sunday afternoon after my second event.
So Monday came and what did I do?
- Unloaded the trailer and disposed of some event waste
- Washed and dried the bins and pails from the weekend, and the gloves and table covers
- Got onto my roof and cleared the leaves off the gutters
- Dropped off clothes to donate and shipped a package
- Did the grocery shopping
- Completed and posted both sustainability reports
- Worked on my latest novel until after midnight
- Began to write this post
So how much rest did I get? I think you’ve already guessed. I felt like I had to fill my day with stuff because there’s so much stuff to do. This despite there being the rest of the week to take care of it. And I was so caught up in all of it I lost sight of what I was supposed to do that day, namely take it easy.
Realization struck when on my way home from shopping, I stopped at a local farm stop for coffee and to buy some breakfast burritos. While I awaited my oatmilk latte (a new favorite) I overheard the store manager talking to an employee, then really to all his employees.
“Are you comfortable where you are right now? Good. If everyone’s comfortable where they are, and the dishes are getting done, we can all get out of here earlier.”
That stuck with me. Not because of what he said, but how he said it, which was measured, quiet, and just a beat short of everyday American conversational pace. I took my drink and left without saying anything, because I couldn’t figure out why it stayed in my head. On the way to my car about a block away it hit me.
Zen. What the guy said, and how he said it, seemed so Zen. Like he was a Buddhist teacher leading a meditation session.
I mean, “being comfortable where you are” can have many meanings. Even doing dishes. And that in turn reminded me of a story involving the great Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. There are several versions online, but I prefer the one from the perspective of the washer of said dishes, Jim Forest.
I’ll let you read it, and just say here the main takeaway is to experience everything in the moment. For example, if you wash the dishes just to get them done so you can have a nice cup of tea (or oatmeal latte) you lose the opportunity to live while you’re washing. Then, TNH points out, you do the same thing with the tea, drinking it while thinking about what you have to do next. You never catch up.
So why do you wash dishes? To wash the dishes. And while you do, experience it. Then when you get your latte, experience drinking it.
This reminder to live in the moment did not sink in right away, as I was still caught up in the momentum of the day. Then while making dinner I discovered a mug of coffee I’d left in the microwave hours ago. I’d gotten distracted and forgotten about it.
And it was supposed to be a day of rest.
Well, what now? If I continued this practice, every day would be a Monday. Looking back, I realized it’s become a pattern with me. And I’m retired, for heaven’s sake.
I work events because I want to, not because I need the money. I run because I want to. I write novels because I want to. Etc. And yet all the stuff I want to do is crowding out the entire point of retirement, which is having the time just to kick back and do nothing now and then.
Been too long since I’ve done this!
Recognition of a problem is halfway to fixing it, as they say. Now for the second half. I realized I cannot just let days of rest happen. I must make them. So I made one for Tuesday.
So this morning I cancelled my regular morning workout. I knew if I went there, I would push myself at usual effort (hard), which would defeat the purpose of the day. Trip to the compost center? Postponed. Finishing the event cleanup and storage? Postponed, mostly. I did put some stuff in the sun to dry. Replace a broken exterior light fixture? Later.
I did go out and plant some milkweed seeds for next year’s patch, but that was light work that kept my body loose. And during my meals I tried to slow down and really enjoy what I prepared for myself rather than just wolf it down while writing reports or watching videos. Still working on that.
I will leave it here for now, and save for another post why I’m attracted to a lot of Buddhist teachings and how I apply them to my favorite athletic activity. See you then!
