Tag Archives: self-reflection

Reality Calls: Back from Black Rock City

I’m back!

Actually, I’ve been back for a while now.

Nearly a month, in fact.

I know what you’re thinking.

Where have you been? I hear you all asking. What have you been doing? Why haven’t you written?

I could make some lame excuse about being continually busy working big races, unpacking and cleaning up, catching up on very important business paperwork, dealing with issues at my office job, recovering from an illness, and getting in some running.

So that’s what I’ll go with.

The good news is that I’m loaded with stories about what happened at Black Rock City. And while there’s no way I can fully describe what it’s like to be among 70,000 generous, hard-partying, free-expressing people, I can share the highlights from this one guy’s point of view. Stories to start very soon – watch this space!

For now, I can tell you what it was like to emerge from the fantasy bubble of BRC with its gifting economy, no responsibilities, unbelievable art, and people of all sizes, shapes, and clothing options, back to the “default world” where money, deadlines, and personal agendas are inescapably embedded into our lives.

It wasn’t that bad.

First, I had time. I avoided the shock of leaving BRC, hopping on a plane, and being back home in one day. By driving across the country over several days, I could ease back into real life and spend some serious time reflecting on the experience. And you know, Party Town is fun for a short time but I don’t see it as a long-term lifestyle. The faults and challenges of the real world, and dealing with and overcoming them, is part of what makes life fulfilling for me.

That said, there are some practices and principles of Burning Man that are well worth carrying over into daily life, at least to some degree. What are those? Stay tuned – I will be sure to tell you!

Here’s a little taste of what’s to come.

As always, thanks for reading. See you again soon!

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Taking Some Self

My first ultra of the year is just a couple of days away, and I’m training for it in the most sensible manner – resting up and eating a lot.

This is not as easy as it sounds.

Having trained hard all winter, it seems unnatural to hit the brakes, even when it’s logical and my body is telling me I need the rest. My coach set me straight. “The hay’s in the barn for this race,” he said. “Pushing yourself now will do no good and could get you hurt.”

So I took some self. I cancelled most of my Body Specs gym sessions and forced myself to take several days completely off. Naturally, it was warm and sunny those days. Sigh. Land Between the Lakes, you’d better be worth it.

I also indulged in a little mental self – as in self-reflection, in particular what it is about ultramarathons that makes me want to keep running them. My thoughts went back a few years to when my wife was bringing my brother up to date on my latest ultrarunning escapade. I forget which one. At any rate, Doug didn’t seem overly impressed.

“Does he enjoy torturing himself like that?” he asked her.

He had a point.

No, I don’t care so much for the pain and discomfort. Or the grind and tedium of the continuous hours of running. Or the mud, bugs, rocks, thorns, and other features of the trail.

But all that is part of the deal. An ultra is a spectrum of highs and lows, excitement and monotony, euphoria and pain, all experienced individually and yet blended into a complete entity I find highly satisfying. All of it, every sensation and emotion, contributes its part and would be missed if absent.

For a rough analogy, try Vietnamese coffee sometime. Espresso + condensed milk = bittersweet magic.

But the satisfaction stems from more than the event. The race is the cashing in of an investment I began months, even years, before the gun goes off. It’s the culmination of all my training, and planning, and the anticipation that motivated me to sign up and get to the starting line. Running the race is the manifestation of all that work, and the medal, or belt buckle, or whatever, represents all of it, not just that I crossed the finish line.

Or in this case, a small copper kettle. Was it worth running 28+ hours for? Yep.

So is racing the reason why I run? I don’t think so. I enjoy running for its own sake, and for the social aspects, and its physical benefits. I don’t need an upcoming race to get me out of bed and off to run club on Saturday mornings, or to toss on one more layer and go out for six miles in the snow. That’s all just part of my life now.

Ultrarunning taps into something deeper within me, an urge to push outside of my normally comfortable life and prove something to myself. Races, and the training for them, are a self-test of my limits. You won’t find me BASE jumping or climbing mountains in Antarctica; I don’t need to defy death to feel alive. But running ultras are times when I feel particularly alive, and in the moment. And that’s special.

Now it’s time to take self to bed. Need my sleep. Big day Saturday!

NOTE: I have Microsoft to thank for the Millennial-style post title. When I saved the first draft, Word used part of my initial sentence as the file name, and may have inadvertently created a new catch phrase. “Taking some self” just crushes. I’m so on fleek!